When I was diagnosed with cancer it opened a new chapter in my life

On September 3 2001, my wife died suddenly. There bad been no medical history but later it was found she had suffered a clot in the leg which had gone straight to the heart. The shock and stress of it all had a tremendous effect on me and my family.

Early the following year - on February 14, I was rushed to hospital with a clot in my right leg. The doctors said it was on its way to the lungs so they had to act fast. I was in hospital for five days and put on a course of tablets to thin the blood.

Two months after that, I underwent several medical tests including a biopsy and was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma.

Leaving the hospital, I was in a state of shock. With my three children married, I was coming home to an empty house and that made it worse.

Looking back, informing my family was not easy. There were many tears. However, they all appeared to be very strong and supportive.

But I still felt very guilty, for they were still trying to come to terms with the loss of their mother only eight months earlier. I felt I was placing a heavy burden on them with my illness.

I found the delay from being diagnosed to receiving treatment very difficult to accept. I was only being selfish, for I was not the only one waiting for treatment.

The treatment started in June. It consisted of four hours’ of chemotherapy every two weeks followed by injections to the stomach every day for five days.

My hair began to part company with me and in no time I was looking like Kojak - completely bald. The treatment lasted, in all, nine months.

When I was diagnosed and after telling my family, I spoke to my parish priest. He put my name on the sick list in the weekly news-letter and it remained there for the full nine months of treatment. I told my fellow knights and parishioners and asked them to pray for me.

I now realise the power of prayer. I was not alone but had the parish, my family and friends in England and friends in Ireland to support me.

And there were prayers, too, from the nuns of the Poor Clare Order at the local convent and from my fellow knights. And my late wife, a very devout woman, must have had a word with the good Lord for me.

The outcome was that in June last year, after various scans, I heard the consultant say those magic words: ‘All clear’.

Looking back, I found that some people could be very hurtful, with remarks about my weight loss. At the same time, the hospital provided me with a special wig to keep my head warm and, sadly, some people thought this very funny. It was difficult to turn the other cheek.

Now that I am putting on weight again and had my first hair cut a few weeks ago, these same people never say how well I am looking.

My advice to people diagnosed with cancer is to tell everyone you meet to ask them to pray for you. Do not isolate yourself.

They say the good Lord moves in mysterious ways. During my illness, one publican in Wembley raised £1752 for the cancer unit where I was being treated. Another pub in Ealing raised several thousand pounds and the unit bought specialised equipment with the money.

At present I am organising a charity night in Wembley in aid of Cancer Research U.K. I have joined the Lymphoma Association, which organises social and other fund-raising events.