I'm from Portugal, I've been in Ireland for 4 years and decided to stay after meeting my Irish Boyfriend. We've been together for almost 3 years and we love each other.

I decided to keep this anonymous, I'm on my late 20's, some of my dreams were about to be postponed: children, dog, happy future.

After so much complaining with colds and blocked nose the boyfriend got fed up and told me to go to a GP. I Took his advise.

GP gave me some meds for 2 months which didn't work so he referred me to ENT (ears, nose and throat) Specialist at the Limericks regional hospital.

On my first appointment, one of the specialist called the head surgeon, he had a look with one of this optical cameras down my throat.

I always been good in "reading" face expressions, and his seemed worried. He didn't give much away.

For almost 9 months I got cancelled and reschedule appointment (about 7) which stressed me so much. I'm working on a call center, Imagine talking with someone with a really bad cold.

Customer could not understand me...

When finally I was sent for a CT scan I knew someone had made a mistake as I clearly heard the surgeons say "Throat and Sinus CT" and I only had for sinuses.

I called the surgeon's secretary, asked her to open my file and confirm it was correct, she said there was no mistake.

CT scan made, after another reschedule appointment I decided to go for a private doctor, he told me that I should have done a Sinus and throat CT scan.

That the problem was deeper.

It was such a stressful year that I had, could not let things sleep away so I had to send a complaints to the hospital administrator for the way I was ( and probably many others are) treated.

this was near Christmas 2009. Finally with all the correct CT and Blood work done I finally had what I was looking for since the very beginning, a surgery to remove my adenoids.

After waking up from the anesthetics, took a deep breath and there was no change. I started panicking, a nurse came to me I asked her what went wrong... she said: " the doctor will come to talk with you"

Was there for 4 hours after the surgery and no one came to me, after a while I called one of the nurses and asked her what was going on. She said " a sample of the adenoids was removed and send to the lab for biopsy". We could not get an answers for question like "why?", "why didn't they remove everything and then analyze it?" " what does that mean?"

I had to chase  the doctor to get those answers, This doctor was very easy to "read"... He was nervous and was gesticulating too much. I went straight to the point and asked him, "what do you think I have?" he said: "95% is adenoids. 5% is something else, possible cancer" ( he was still very nervous...I knew it was bad news). I kept that to myself and just told the boyfriend what he told me.

I could not sleep that evening I sneak out of the room as quiet as I could so I would not wake up the boyfriend.

Went to the computer and asked so many questions to google, I was looking for worst case scenarios. results came up with non-Hodgkin's and Hodgkin's lymphoma or different carcinomas.

A few weeks after I went back to see the surgeon, he said that we could go ahead and remove the adenoids that they could not find anything from the labs (again, this doctor still didn't sound too sure..).

He booked the 2nd surgery for the soonest he could. After the 2nd surgery I could not believe that  normal people could breath like that, I don't remember ever breathing so well (even when I was a child), What a relief....I was so happy.

A few weeks after I had a follow up appointment, I remember it was my mom's birthday, I was planning to call her after the appointment.

The surgeon told me that they send the whole adenoidal mass ( about the size of a golf ball) to the lab. They had to test this in 2 different labs as they could not believe the results.

Surgeon finally told me they came up with the diagnose of Hodgkin's lymphoma. He told me to wait outside for a nurse that was coming to have a chat with me. I had no mobile with me.. was anxious to call my boyfriend.

In a way I was prepared for the news, I read loads about that on google. I didn't cry with the news, was nervous, I didn't want to worry my family, my boyfriend and his family.

Nurse told me about what was going to happen in a short term (CT's, Blood works, ultra sound, x-rays, etc...) and long term, gave me loads of info, she was nice... when I'm nervous I crack jokes even with such a grim diagnostic. Now that I think about it, she might thought I was a looney.... 

I didn't cry, I just shared a tear when I remember it was my mom's birthday. I always put other peoples wellbeing above mine, Could not stop thinking about my boyfriend.

I went home, Called the boyfriend, asked him to meet me at home, he said he couldn't come, I hated myself for having to tell him the news over the phone.

He drove home and I completely forgot that his sisters were calling over. He arrived home, had his sun glasses on to hide the tears, his sister was surprised to see him... I told her that he took the day off to study, I knew she didn't believe me. He refugee in the room to hide. When his other sister came over, her reaction was the same.

We decided not to tell anyone but my family, I called my brother, told him the news and ask him If I should tell my mom that day or wait for after the weekend. I kept having flashbacks from a few years before when my uncle passed away victim of stomach cancer, It was my mom's birthday too....we wait to know how bad things were before we told his family.

It's a shock and a very stressful news, but the worst of all is Knowing what you have and not knowing how bad it is. For a week myself and my other half gather as much information as possible, we kept trying to remember how long did I had this for and worst case scenarios.

A week after I was told I had: "Hodgkin's IAE" What a relief. I was told about ABVD chemo, was not put forward for any trials as they were not relevant on my case.

Doctor said that it was very rare to find Hodgkin's on the adenoids, that it was somehow external to the lymphatic system. They could not find anything on the CT scan, Which meant most of it was removed upon surgery.

Dr Gupta told me chemo was the way to go, that he was putting me for a PET scan in Dublin. Myself and the boyfriend we were very worried about sterility, we were referred to HARI clinic, for a month we had trips from limerick to Dublin for ultrasounds, injections, Egg removal. All went well again, although was very stressful and tiring.

Next step was the PET, This one came with small spots of Hodgkin's, that was not changing the fact that I had to undergo chemo.

Since the very beginning myself and the boyfriend we always came to an agreement about chemo issues. I didn't want to do the cold cap, I thought staying 2:30 with a very cold/painful cap with a low result method didn't appeal to me, but I done 30 minutes of it for him. I meet some newly started like myself and they were all doing the cold cap too.

My veins suffer badly with chemo and plasters, got a allergic reaction to both. I was offered a PICC line but decided to go for a Port as I love my swimming.

We had holidays booked before we even knew I had cancer. We beg the doctor to go to Portugal, my family would worry to bits if I cancelled. So they gave me the go ahead.

I didn't had all that bad with chemo, side effects: Bad constipation, Nausea, weight gain (due to steroids and comfort food), Pain in the back (doctors could not pin point this), 2/3 days of tiredness and sweat.

The most interesting thing, I was told since the very beginning I was going to loose my hair..... 1st month after, I was alright... 2nd/3rd months, lost about 50% of my hair and was starting to be noticeable.

We came from holidays and we decided to shave my hair. I'm a little bit of a cleaning freak long hair everywhere in the house would freak me out. I got a very short cut. But my hair never fall off completely, the opposite, it started to grow quite recently.

I came to terms with that quite fast, I could not stop but laugh thinking that my brother was staring back at me in the mirror.

It's hard for the ones closer to you. It took a while for other people to get used to it..... Got a nickname of "hamster" because of the hair, compliments of my boyfriend.

At this point rumors started at work because the wig was very uncomfortable so I decided to wear a bandana instead, I only told my managers and a few close friends at work about it.

When people asked me what happen I just answered:" Don't ask" and they didn't...

There was another compromise, if I went out with the boyfriend I would have to wear the wig, He didn't like the fact that people were staring at me, while I didn't really noticed or minded, with him it was very different.

For the whole duration of chemo I was always in good spirits, sometimes (specially during the 2nd week) I forgot about cancer. But for 3 days on the first week I was really down (due to side effects)

My managers at work were real stars, they supported me for the whole period, I used to skip work 3/4 days in 2 weeks period. I could not stay at home if I felt ok... So I would work as much as I could. Other patients were telling me they asked to be reduced for a part time shcedule, that side effects were hard, but it was very good to share experiences and know you were not alone, other people were feeling the same.

boyfriends family is like my own family, They were/are brilliant, supportive.. can't fault them. My family even from far showed their support.

Friends were there for the bad times and good times.

And my boyfriend, he was there on the good times, difficult times, stressing times, through my treatment, through our future fears and plans, he was/is my anchor, I can't thanks him enough for what he his and for the love he showed me, if you go through something like this and people do not move away from you and support you, make sure you thank them. It's scary for all of us... getting to the habit of thanking people it would show appreciation.

Last chemo was today the 06/12/2010. I'm expecting my full energy to be back by Christmas and celebrate it with Boyfriend and his family.....

I was told by my managers, nurses, doctors, boyfriend, family and friends that my positive energy/way of thinking really help me out through bad times, that my positive strength really made a difference to the way all went through. I use to blush when I was told this and change subject straight away. But is true, you have to be positive. There was this lady at the cancer center, she always had a smile on her face, she used to chat with everybody, really great spirit and contagious... I like to think I was a bit like her... Today she had a fall  and was not on her best. I regret not going to see her and give back the smile. But I was told she is ok.....

I said goodbye to the mid western cancer center, they were brilliant.. doctors, nurses, clerks, cleaners, porters.. there is such a family feeling... Thank you.

Whatever you think it will happen smile, be nice, you'll get the same back. Sooner or later it will all be over. Cherish all good moments and learn with the bad moments, put them behind you as soon as possible, don't hang on to bad moments.

If you need someone to talk with you can email me on  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. I promise I'll answer back.